I'm back at where I was 5 years ago...on the junction of choices; it's time to choose my path to future again. I've got 2 choices:
1. Get back to Malaysia, continue to work as an average monkey programmer, under the unjust and unfair system setup by some no-brainers 50 years ago and still supported by some morons now. And live my days out by just working for a salary to sustain me and my family. While doing that, I get the comfort of staying with my family and friends, in the close comforts of people I know, sharing my life with them.
2. Stay here, the place I have come to love so much, get a job or forward to PhD and probably get myself to contribute to computer science in my own capacity as a scientist while getting to live under a fairer and more just system and still get to sustain me and my family. In this case, I get to live on myself far away from what I left behind at home and call this place my new home, living my future out... alone.
I have got no quote from any great scientists or figures in history. All I had is my desires in conflict; living a selfish life in the comfort of family and friends and the possibility with my love or living a life of contributing to science in loneliness. I have never before felt so hard to choose between my path to my dream and relationship...
